One year ago I came back from my exchange year in america. I was confused because it was hard for me to accept the fact that I left a life behind, that I build up in just a few months but got so attached to that if felt more like my life than anything ever felt before, but I was also confused because I was happy to be home with my family and friends again, back in a life that I have lived in for more than 17 years. I came out of the airport crying so hard because I just wanted to go back trough those doors and take the next flight back but at the same time I cried because I was so happy to see all of my friends and family again who had welcomed me back in such a sweet and loving way. I didn't want to be back in my home country but at the same time I was looking forward to a lot of great things there, and after one year of staying back "home" I still feel like this. I can't really call anything home no more. I still have a super tight bond with my friends and family over there in america and I wouldn't hesitate to call it home but at the same time I have grown a super close relationship with my friends and family over here and they are my home as well.
What I just tried to describe is a very common feeling. I would assume that every exchange student has those kind of problems and every exchange has to cope with it. Being torn up between to different "homes" is the price for an exchange year and I can honestly say that there isn't a perfect way to leave those feelings behind, there is only a way to learn to live with it.
People who don't know the feeling would always tell me that it will go away by itself and if I do get homesick I could always Skype and apps such as WhatsApp will help to keep in touch and during the school breaks I could just visit again. But guys that is not how it works! Skyping, texting or even visiting will never bring back the feeling that I had when I lived there!!! I mean yes it sure helps to keep in touch but what does really help when you can't stop being homesick?
To get over "homesickness" you have to first know what you want your future to be like ? Do you ever want to go back or do you want to build up a life in your home country and just come back to the place of your exchange to visit ?
If you decide to not go back and stay in your home country instead, its really important to make sure that you get involved in social life again, and I mean not just school. I know that its hard to go out and do stuff with your friends when all you want to do is lay in your bed and Skype your friends and family from "over there" but its the easiest way to get over homesickness. If you got up and out with your friends then try to focus on what you're doing with them and don't talk about your exchange year a lot because that is not only going to make you sad, it also will make them feel unwanted and they might get jealous or even mad (believe me its better to answer "it was good", when you get asked how your year was, then actually telling them how amazing it was and how much you loved it and miss it now). Pick up a sport or a hobby that you couldn't do over there or even try new hobbies, but make sure that it is something that you actually enjoy because it doesn't help a bit when you have to constantly force yourself to do it, it will help you focussing on positive things and keep you happy. And most importantly spend time with your family. Your family is the most important thing that you have in your home country and it will be an every day reminder on why it was a good decision to stay.
I tried all of those things and they all worked for me but I think its the little things too, like having something to look forward too that you can only have in your home country (like certain groceries or a special event) and the most important thing to remember is to give yourself time to readjust. Feeling home back in your home doesn't work from one day to another (maybe for some people), it takes time and its important that you don't stress yourself to adjust faster. If you feel bad for feeling bad then it will take even longer so you got to understand that what you're feeling is normal and it will go by eventually but if you give it some time and put some effort into readjusting you will feel better soon.
In case you can't get over it and you decide to go back to the place of your exchange year to study there or work or even be an au pair then its super important to still do all the things i just mentioned to readjust to your home country but it will be a lot easier. I decided to go back to america to study there and I almost immediately felt better. I was relieved and it was a lot easier for me to focus on my home country and my friends and family here because I knew it wouldn't be forever and I have to make the days count with the people I love and I will miss. What im saying is that when you know your time in your home country is limited you are seeing everything differently. Yes you will be still homesick but you start to value the great sides of your home country so much more and you might even notice great things you haven't noticed before. Like I said i felt relieved as soon as i decided to go back but I also started noticing more and more things that I will miss once im gone and now (a couple of months later) Im actually sad about leaving this place, my friends and my family behind while im happy to be able to go back abroad. Knowing I will go back helped me so much to feel home in my home country again and still, I know I will feel home in america again as well.
So to all of you exchange students out there who are so confused to be back in a home away from home, I can honestly tell y'all that it will get better! You will all find a way to readjust to your home country and keep in touch with hour home abroad, just give it some time!!!
